Whose Grief Is It
Have you ever felt the lingering idea that your emotional and behavioral patterns don’t belong to you? This was true for a client that came to us a long time ago. Convinced she was sexually abused as a child, she attracted partners that continued to belittle her, put her down, and left her feeling small and insignificant. Another client felt devastated over a friendship ending, yet felt like it was so much deeper and couldn’t figure out why she was so incredibly distraught. Many times, the leftover emotional pain from the broken relationships within a family can plague a person for decades of his or her life.
We all desire to feel loved and accepted, to be understood, and to feel emotionally safe to be who we are. But, sometimes our ancestral lineages create challenging experiences and circumstances for us to do so. After doing deep healing work, these two clients discovered a history of abuse, neglect, and behavioral patterns that were passed down from generations. While these limitations and issues were born from the patterns of their ancestral history and lineage, it was their choice to either avoid the issues or step up and take full responsibility to heal for the past, present, and future generations.
The imprint of our ancestor’s traumatic experiences is expressed in our genes, in our energy field, and in our mind and body.
In recent years, the evolving study of Epigenetics has revealed that the traumas of our ancestors not only impact our gene expression but can also be carried through generations. Traumas that we do not even know about that our grandparents experienced before they had children can influence our fears, expectations, and sensitivities. In essence, we are conditioned to see the world through the eyes of our ancestors.
It is not only the stories that we have been told about our family history but also the untold stories, that can show up in our current life patterns and challenges. If you explore your family history, you may see that your ancestor’s stories have very likely influenced your own. Generations of scarcity, famine, war, of displacement and genocide, successes and losses, betrayals, and also the love, and joys — not only affect those who lived through it but their future offspring as well. These stories inside of our genes can show themselves as emotional eating, abandonment of self, unworthiness, lack of self-love, scarcity thinking, illness, anxiety attacks, and much more.
Healing your ancestral lineage traumas comes with a deep desire and willingness to do the inner healing to understand where these traumas originated and free yourself from these wounds. This healing is a deep call from within you and your ancestors to embark on your healing journey. This call is not only to release yourself from their pain, and your current wounds, but a continuous commitment and responsibility to honor your family lineage’s evolution, and also for the generations to come, as well as Mother Earth herself, for when we heal our past and our present, we contribute to healing the planet.
It is a beautiful awakening when we can become conscious of the communication that continues with our ancestors (even those we never knew) even after death. Our ancestors are our greatest allies in healing because they long to heal themselves. While they do their healing work on the other side, Shamans believe that when we choose to awaken ourselves to healing the wounds stored in our DNA, our ancestors are healed as well. They are our cheerleaders while we do this work, and our greatest guides, as they have had the experience of being physical beings and living on the Earth. They know what it takes to heal and to do this work, and they are here to support us from the other side.
Our ancestor’s stories are awakened within us when we consciously choose to love ourselves and heal the old and sometimes ancient traumas and wounds associated with the way we treat ourselves. It is an exciting adventure within when we open to the path of deep blessings and openings. And it is a great honor to awaken to your path of healing, rooted in the past, yet flying towards the future.
“Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.”
-Linda Hogan [b. 1947] Native American writer
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